If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family

Stop reblogging my failure

❝ Say it before you run out of time. Say it before it’s too late. Say what you’re feeling. Waiting is a mistake. ❞ — (via supmariss)




thank you, Colbert.

Oh no. They’re everywhere.

Was Hydra behind Colbert getting the Late Show from Letterman? If so, I’m ok with that.


I will defend my favorite character faster than myself

white man: well, if male privilege and white privilege exist, then how come my life isn't perfect? checkmate

"You think I need this mace to take you down?"